The hard day

Yesterday was a hard day.  I had a manic attack.  The bipolar side of me came out.  Or you could say the evil twin being the Gemini that I am..  I woke up in a funk.  I just knew something wasn't right.  I haven't had one of these episodes for quit some time.  It all started like this:


I woke up tired and exhausted.  Ryan hadn't slept the night before.. so many hours of broken sleep.  As he cries from nightmares (or at least I think) I crave for some sleep.  Of course my husband is oblivious to any sort of crying or movement going on.  He is useless when it comes to stuff like this. 


I can feel the anger building up.  It was coming but I just didn't know when.  It was going to be out of my control.  I could feel it.  My husband is off on Wednesdays I didn't want to ruin our time together.  


Matt drove Patrick to school and then came home.  Ryan wasn't cooperating.  Matt wanted to go to Bed Bath and Beyond and I wanted to go with.  But, Ryan had other plans.  He wanted to have a tantrum.  So off Matt went and the anger came out.. All I did was be upset and cry because I was stuck home again.  You see it is so cold out we are stuck in this house.  I don't know if I was angry  he went without me or I was just angry ~ I am going with the 2nd.  


The day progressed and I became more depressed.  Did lots of crying to myself and within myself.  I felt really down.  You see that is how this works.  Up high and feeling good, to anger (lots of it) and then down low.  I take my meds everyday but it didn't seem to work yesterday. 


I woke up today feeling better.. Not great but better.  I told myself that today would be a good day.  That nothing can bring me down.  So off I go to start another day in my crazy life.  A mother to 5 and a wife to1.  


Have a great day everyone!